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How Do I Stop the Divorce and Save My Marriage?
Unfortunately, many women get their marriage saving advice from “chick flicks” or the women magazines when their husband leaves the marriage. On the other hand… the way guys deal with trouble in the marriage is to storm off and do something that occupies their minds so they can figure it out.
Truth is… both parties are doing things that won’t solve anything and more likely will push the marriage into the brink.
So if you find yourself staring at yourself in the bathroom mirror wondering “What the heck am I going to do? How do I stop the divorce from happening?”
Well, there are steps that you can do that is constructive and can help rebuild your marriage and gain your spouse back.
To start off, you should use some common sense here… just basic common sense… and that means no more confrontations and angry words or drama. No more hurtful words, putting on the guilt or accusations.
Just stop all that nasty stuff! I have never heard of any marriage that was repaired on the back of a knock out drag out fight. In fact, have you EVER seen a reconciliation in a Jerry Springer show?
Oh heck no!!
Everyone leaves angry… except the titillated audiences and of course Jerry Springer and his producers… they are too busy counting the money they made off the misery of others.
So stop all the nonsense and angry words. I’m not saying you can’t get angry… but you need to exercise some restraint if you want to save your marriage. Just watch what you say… once the wrong words leave your mouth… well, the cows have left the barn… and you can’t get them back.
Talking about common sense… for instance… if you have a drinking problem and an anger problem… well, there’s your sign. You need to be serious about quiting that stuff.
Another area that you should be thinking about is… yourself. You cannot control someone else’s behavior… and your spouse. But you can control yours. Be the better person. Have some dignity for yourself.
As I mentioned before, anger has a bad way of totally destroying any goodwill that you built up during the years of marriage. So watch your words and learn some ways to manage your anger if this is a weakness of yours.
Here’s is a tip for the guys, be aware of your posture when you are angry. You can be viewed as threatening when you are angry… so be sure to say in your chair and try to relax. And of course here is a tip for the women, if you have trouble controlling your voice when emotional… try to keep quiet as much as possible. Wait before responding. It gives you a little time to give a measured response that isn’t hysterical.
And here is a tip for couples that are facing difficulties in relating to each other… be aware that becoming loud and verbal can be construed in the wrong way. It raises the stress threshold and can accelerate the anger and push your marriage in the direction you don’t want it to go.
Suppose you are someone who holds a grudge? Well, bringing up the hurt over and over again like a sledge hammer doesn’t really solve anything. It just adds gasoline to the fire so to speak and makes things much worse.
So instead of getting angry… try to be calm and stick with the subject at hand. And be nice… really nice.
But the biggest question most people have, how do I stop the divorce is all about forgiveness. Real forgiveness. Understanding and compassion.
And it has to work both ways. You need to forgive your spouse and you need to ask forgiveness from your spouse too… for anything you done or said that was hurtful or unkind.
And yes, it is amazing how far you can go when you seek forgiveness… but that isn’t all. I suggest that you check out Save My Marriage program by Amy Waterman. It is one of the best programs that helps you rescue your marriage and make it stronger without expensive therapy or the emotional baggage of a ugly divorce.
God bless,
John
Topics: Stop Divorce | Tags: amy waterman, how do I stop the divorce, save my marriage | No Comments »
