How to Deal With Ending a Relationship

« This Young Gentleman is Wondering If I Can Help? | Home | The Leading Man by Scot McKay – A Full Review »

Sometimes you just know you have to end a relationship. And you just know… the relationship turned sour. Or there are more obvious or subtle clues that tells you continuing a relationship with your partner isn’t working out. This is when to end a relationship. Because dragging it out and letting it fester does nobody any good.

It would be great if ending a relationship wasn’t that hard… sometimes it is (when you have a mature partner who also recognizes reality) and sometimes it is very hard… and it can get emotionally draining. And for those types of relationships, breaking up is hard to do… for sure!

So this is why you need to be absolutely certain that you want to end the romance. And you may try to rationalize the reasons why… but I’m almost positive that those are not the real reasons. So you need to think a little about that. And once you do… you are going to have to be very honest about talking with your partner why you want to break up.

So this is what you can do. Find a time that is convenient for both of you to discuss the breakup. And geez… don’t be a jerk by calling or emailing in the rejection… unless the major issue for the breakup is the long distance. In that case, you should break up now rather than wait until the next time you guys get together.

That only makes sense huh?

Now when you are going to end a relationship… be gentle. Be kind. Be compassionate and understanding. This is the way to go if you value their friendship and want to remain in touch with them.

And when you are breaking up… keep in mind that rejection is not a pleasant feeling. Your partner may get defensive and angry. So talk about the things you learned and the memories that you will always remember from your partner. Be there during the breakup. And again, your partner may be feeling a massive hurt… so you will need to know how to respond to their concerns and needs.

One more thing… there may be a lot of hurt feelings and stuff said in the heat of the moment. You need to understand that your partner may say hurtful things that they really don’t mean. Just take the high road and let those words just roll off.

And you may need to meet a couple more times to conclude the relationship. And depending on the partner… you may need to give them room. Only you can know this. So give this breakup the time it needs to be concluded.

Above all, do not let your partner attempt to manipulate you into feeling guilty. You are moving on with your life and your partner isn’t going to be the romantic part of it anymore. My belief is that you should always have a positive and healthy relationship with your ex. There really is no need for anger and simmering hurt when you can be happy and well-thought of.

I remember the former talk show host who passed away recently, Merv Griffin was well thought of by his ex. My point is this… it is far better to be loved than to be hated.

Just be sure to let your partner know that you are ending the relationship for the right reasons… that it is best for both of you to move on.

On the other hand… if you ever decide to rekindle the romance because you decided that it is worth getting back together again… you have a much better chance if you remained friends rather than enemies… right?

At the end, it is your decision to make whether or not for ending a relationship. But know this, just because you ended a relationship doesn’t mean it is permanently over. You can still remain casual friends or even get back together after a long period of cooling off. In fact, I know of couples who have done exactly this. And their relationship and respect for each other is stronger than ever.

But be firm and decisive. If you want to end the relationship… do it and move on.

If you want to know some good psychological methods for relieving the anxiety of breaking up, then I recommend that you get The Magic of Making Up. The author is a genius at improving human relationships.

John